Monday, September 30, 2013

I've Backed Myself Into A Corner

Today in the Gold Coast: sunny, sweaty brows, twerking womenz, and 1.5L of Ice Break sloshing around in my stomach. The sun woke me up at 5am, but I got to lie in bed until 6:40 which was seriously one of the highlights of the last few months for me after having either five hours of sober sleep, or nine hours of drunk blackout-time, seven days a week. Eight hours of sleep... yes, yes, and yesyes again.

We got to the field and set our shit up, then started pumping deep house out of the speakers and calling to people walking past. “Win $100”, “Come play the Ice Break game”, “when are you guys going to have sex?”. Real obnoxious shit. It's weird having the microphone and being in charge of bringing people over to the tent; the system is loud, and my voice is playing over fifty to a hundred people at a time. We had people coming back for repeat tries at winning the daily prize, and people hanging out and chatting for most of the day. We watched the games, I commentated poorly, and at the end of the day one team of girls twerked in unison when we put on a song called 'Ass” (actually I think it might be spelled 'A$$', I'm not sure).

I'm sitting in my room at the hotel right now drinking a sparkling red with a strawberry in, and in a second I'm going to go down to the pool and have another swim, and then I'm planning my set for tonight. I have a spot tonight at The Loft. That's kind of scary, none of these guys have seen me perform before, or know anything about what my comedy is about, but my gigs lately haven't been so good, as I've discussed previously, so I'll really need to pull it together to nail this one otherwise it's going to be an awkward morning. Pressure, pressure, FUCK, this is what I've gotten myself into.

Brad Oakes told me when I had lunch with him the other day that I should (or at least 'could') open with my 'room mate' joke – it's a good joke, but a little blue. I've got a good tag for it now, and then three more jokes involving my family, they're all a little risky and if they don't pay off then I might end up in a little bit of trouble, but I don't really have anything else to open with. This is frustrating. Once I get into it I can do my 'Girls' bit, and then the 'BrisTrain' story, and probably close with 'Herpes', I just need to get started. Eugh. It'll be fine, it'll be okay, I'm going to have a good gig.

Enough motivational self-talk, I'm off to have that swim.

Peace, Taco.

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