My Body's No Body's Body But Mine

I think I've had my Ultivite today... I'm pretty sure... yeah, I think I have... no, definitely I did. I bought this jar thingo of 150 Swisse Ultivite like a month ago I guess, when I was really sick and looking to force my body to be healthy without having to do any work. I don't think I've missed more than one or two days in the time since I bought them, but now I'm wondering whether they are actually working or not. How the fuck are you supposed to tell? What is 'wellness'? How do you measure that? Should I buy more of these things once this lot runs out?

Today I walked over to the Lentil as Anything in Abbottsford Convent – for the uninitiated, Lentil as Anything is a restaurant (?) that serves vegetarian and vegan food with no obligation to pay, you just put whatever you think your meal was worth in a box when you're on your way out. I heaped my plate up, as I always do, and paid three dorrah. Is that stingy? I guess it is a little. BAH! Fuck you! I don't need to justify myself to you people...

Okay, maybe I'll chuck in ten next time.

I won't though.

I like to trick myself into thinking that things I do every day like walking medium distances at a brisk pace, or running for a tram actually have a positive effect on my health. Yes, Aidan, you definitely deserve two slices of cheesecake with whipped cream and strawberry because today you skipped down a flight of stairs at Parliament Station. Of course you should have McDonalds on the walk home, you did just WALK HOME didn't you? Go Go Go, you health nut. You picture of sensibility. YOU! are a healthy, modern gentleman.

What I think I'm trying to say is I probably eat too much... and I've noticed in the last six months or so – well it really has been a slow progression ever since I noticed that I have a belly – that I've been more concerned about my body image. Not concerned enough to actually take any sort of action of course. HAH! Get fucked... no, but still concerned enough to look down at my stomach from time to time and utter words like, “I wish you'd never been born.” And I do. I can't remember who it is but there's a comedian who has a bit about the body being like a disgusting child that we have to feed and nurture and take care of and why can't it just shut up for a change and let our mind free from its cellar to roam around in the sunshine. WHY MUST MY MIND BE FOREVER HELD HOSTAGE IN THIS DISGUSTIG FLESHY PRISON!!!

I think 'fleshy prison' is literally the phrase that particular comedian uses in their bit. Sorry, whoever it is. No one reads this anyway, it's fine.

I think I will keep buying Swisse Ultivite, to be honest. I like to hedge my bets.

Peace, Taco.