A
massive surge in head injuries thought to be the result of
exasperated left-wing voters attempting to vent their frustrations
against masonry has sent emergency wards across the country into a
panic this weekend. These election-related injuries have been mostly
concentrated in the inner-city suburbs of capital cities and have
caused several Fitzroy coffee shops to designate certain walls as
'Non-Essential Government Resistance Outlet' or 'NEGRO Walls' in a
bid to ensure structural integrity.
Conservative commentators and Liberal voters alike have condemned the leftists' actions, with some going as far as to suggest that the number of self-inflicted head injuries over the one weekend constitutes a coordinated effort to overload the cities' hospitals and manufacture a panic about the state of the health system. Others claim the behaviour is simply the result of the easy inner-city hipster lifestyle, and that this “faggy tantrum” will soon play itself out.
“Maybe if he stop readin' all them fuckin' books and did a bit o' work mate!” contented Dave, from Ceduna. Dave's son is currently in a critical condition in St Vincent's Hospital in Fitzroy, Melbourne, after being found next to a lamp post on Saturday, with his phone screen displaying a text from his father that read, “BLOODY0BOAT0PEOPLE!” [SIC]
Right-wing pundits are urging all voters who are disappointed with the election result to take their frustrations out in a more traditional manner, for example in competitive sports, or organized street-fights, while medical experts are suggesting that if the left is adamant that it will continue to beat its head against the wall, it at least wear a bike helmet.
From Richmond.
Peace, Taco.
Conservative commentators and Liberal voters alike have condemned the leftists' actions, with some going as far as to suggest that the number of self-inflicted head injuries over the one weekend constitutes a coordinated effort to overload the cities' hospitals and manufacture a panic about the state of the health system. Others claim the behaviour is simply the result of the easy inner-city hipster lifestyle, and that this “faggy tantrum” will soon play itself out.
“Maybe if he stop readin' all them fuckin' books and did a bit o' work mate!” contented Dave, from Ceduna. Dave's son is currently in a critical condition in St Vincent's Hospital in Fitzroy, Melbourne, after being found next to a lamp post on Saturday, with his phone screen displaying a text from his father that read, “BLOODY0BOAT0PEOPLE!” [SIC]
Right-wing pundits are urging all voters who are disappointed with the election result to take their frustrations out in a more traditional manner, for example in competitive sports, or organized street-fights, while medical experts are suggesting that if the left is adamant that it will continue to beat its head against the wall, it at least wear a bike helmet.
From Richmond.
Peace, Taco.
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